In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize