I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
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