Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
