I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
