i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
