On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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