sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
