yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
