do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You can't just leave with hair like that
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
