Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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