Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
