Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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