Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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