just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
