i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
