ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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