he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
