Kareoke will never be a sober sport
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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