Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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