Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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