My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
