I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
