is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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