I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
