I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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