Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
