so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
