My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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