I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
