she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He better not be in your backpack
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
