i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
