I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
