Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
me + whiskey = a bad person
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
