You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
