I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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