Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
