Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
