he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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