About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
