Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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