He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
