yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
