Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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