i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
