Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
