Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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