You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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