its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
