She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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