I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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