is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
