STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
