i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
