how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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